You're telling me something real...

Hey. I just thought I should let you know something. You're probably too busy to notice it. So I guess I'll write it down so you can refer to this at your leisure, remembering bits and pieces in context, coming back to it when you finally figure out that you just screwed up something big.

I guess it's not so much that there's no easy way to say it as there is no easy way to get it through to you. So, plain and simple is the way to go, I guess. If you don't respond to bluntness, I really just sort of give up, more or less.

You ignore me. And it hurts. It hurts bad, okay? I don't even think you realize. You are so absorbed, so completely oblivious and buried in your own life and full to the breaking point of your own ego that you've just got no freaking idea. I've heard "I love you" from your mouth, and yet to this day I can't even get an instant message out of you without doing it first.

I would bet money against malice. You have a mean streak of course, and I've even been on the bad side of it. But you assure me all is well, and I believe you. But for goodness' sake, is there something keeping you from talking to me? Am I worth so little to you? Do you care nothing for me?

I've resolved myself to refusing to intiate contact with you, something I follow with only moderate success. I guess I care too much, I don't know.

But I guess this whole letter, this letter that you most likely won't read, is more for me than you. Thanks, though. Self-esteem is over-rated anyway.



Anonymous EAB said...

Maybe she just has nothing to talk about? [unless its herself] Or maybe she thinks you don't want to hear it all the time? You could ask...but I'd wait til she IMed you to do so. It strikes me odd you should care so much about her. Maybe I just feel left in the dust.

loves, all the same.

May 07, 2006 5:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is off topic, but, I enjoy reading your posts on BZ, especially when you PWN Oxley.

May 23, 2006 7:30 PM  

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